Sign Me Up For That!

Just like Congress, I would like an increase in my spending limit. Yes, I know, I've spent a lot lately - but only to stimulate the local economy. It wasn't all for me, I bought things for other people too. A Nordstrom Sale is just "Too Big to Fail" to go to.
"Enough is enough" the money earner proclaims!
No, not really. Black pants (1 each for dress, casual, skinny, classic, comfy and flattering) and shoes (smart, sexy, comfy, shiny, and then there are the colors - don't get me started!) define a well dressed woman.
Here's the deal:
Increase my spending limit now, then beginning in 2015 I will begin decreasing the increases by 1 cent per month. Really! I will begin spending a penny less per month for 10 years. Adjust for inflation of course. And it's not so much of a promise as a good intention.
What a plan! I think I'll go into politics...but I would need a new wardrobe.

What a Difference a TAN Makes

I went to the pool with my grandkids and I felt good. I had a TAN!
I didn't think about how old I was or how much I weighed (thanks to my "magic" swimsuit that makes me look 10 pounds thinner instantly), I felt comfortable and confident. Instead of feeling self-conscious I imagined people asking "She's a grandma?"
I know it is vain and counter intuitive, but every woman in North America wants the perfect tan. We know the sun is bad for us. It ages us and will give us skin cancer - but boy will we look good when we go to the pool. This season I found the solution with "Endless Glow".
My daughter Angel joined a company that sells airbrush tanning and sunless tanning products.
In May, when I almost died in a tornado (see previous blog) I had it for the first time and it felt really great to know that if I died, at least I'd gotten a little sun first. In June when I visited Dallas again I had another and this time bought the sunless tanning products so it would last longer. They work great and do not smell bad. Really!
Having a "tan" has really lifted my spirits during the long cold spell (that should have been the beginning of summer) and now when I go to the pool, I can sit in the shade.
What a difference a TAN makes.

Time is Real, Not Relative

Time is real. Really!
Real time. Time delay. Tell time. Story time. Bed time. Time to go! Time to start. Daylight time. Standard time. Mormon Standard Time. Just in time. Waste of time. Good use of time. It's almost time.
Running late. A little late. Too late.
If you set your clock fast, it does not change the fact of what time it really is. Time is a stable, dependable resource that is often in short supply. There is value to your own time, a need to respect other's time.
Years ago with our young family we found ourselves consistently late for church. It didn't matter what time our church began, it was always a last minute rush, a dash and likely a clash with tempers flaring and patience failing.
I was reminded of a story my seminary teacher Steve Sorenson taught: Imagine that there was a man who offered to give one thousand dollars to anyone who was at a certain terminal at the Portland Airport at precisely 6 a.m. If you were one minute, even one second late, you would receive nothing. No excuses.
What lengths would you go to, to ensure that you arrived on time? Would you plan extra time for a bridge lift, a flat tire, or a dead battery? Would you plan for unforeseen circumstances, parking and getting to the right terminal? When it was nearly 6 a.m. would you listen to one more song on the radio in your car, use the restroom to put on make-up or hang around with friends in the hall? If we could get there at 6 a.m. without fail...is it not merely a lack of respect, desire or urgency that causes us to be late for church?
Dan and I decided that we would plan adequate time to arrive at church on time without rushing. We planned how long it took to drive to church, arrive, park, go in and find seats. We then added the amount of time it takes to get into the car (about 5 minutes surprisingly with all the oh, I forgot my scriptures) and then 15 minutes for the "time to go" call when everyone brushes their teeth and puts on their shoes. It made going to church much less stressful.
While driving I am a better, more attentive driver if I am not rushing. If I'm going to a Dr. appointment, a hair appointment or a class at the gym my stress or enjoyment level is directly related to my planning ahead and leaving adequate time to arrive promptly.
I challenge anyone reading this to:

1. Change your clocks to reflect the actual real time
2. Have adequate clocks in your home to know what time it is
3. Be on time to every appointment for one week

Give me just a little more time!

Cheating Death Once Again

Whew! That was a close one...

WAH-H-H, WAH-H-H, WAH-H-H

WAH, WAH, WAH

I knew it couldn't be good, but it didn't make sense to panic when I didn't know what the blaring horns meant. There were few people around in the Denver Airport that night, at least at the end terminal opposite where I arrived from Dallas. I had just settled in for my two hour layover.

I was entertaining myself near the large windows by watching the intense lightening, strong winds and horizontal rain. I figured if there was something I needed to do I would hear an announcement over loud speakers.

Again, the wah, wah of the horns. It may have been Morse Code, but surely an announcement would instruct us if something was amiss so I enjoyed the force of nature and was grateful I didn't need to go outside in the storm. After several sets of warning blares an airline employee came running by yelling at us to get away from the windows and into the shelters because of a tornado. Yikes!

I began walking quickly to the restrooms and sure enough, there on a little sign near the entrance it proclaimed the restroom was a tornado shelter. Tornadoes in Denver?

The calm people outnumbered by far the flustered and worried so an orderly chaos prevailed. I made myself comfortable in the sink area and immediately called Angel to see if she would buy me a swimsuit if a tornado hit. This is a long running joke between the two of us. (Angel, I'm a size 6 he-he)

After 20 minutes or so we heard announcements being made in the terminal, but they were not audible in the restroom/tornado shelter. Soon "the word" was being passed from the front to the back and when it got to me, the people were quite panicked and said we were being moved downstairs to safety. I was able to offer a little voice of calm to a couple of handicapped people, as they tried to maneuver oxygen tanks and wheelchairs out of the circular entrance to the shelter. I made sure everyone was out before I left, but when we came out there was no one directing or moving people and it seemed that the threat was over.

My mood could best be described as amused. I was not fearful at all, and honestly doubted the reality of a tornado in Denver. I did do my "Worse Case Scenario" thinking that Angel's family (who I had made the trip for) and Dan (who took a different flight home for business) would feel responsible if I died...but I trusted that Andi would reassure them I didn't blame them and it wasn't their fault...that's as fatalistic as I could conjure up and I realized that "Hey, I really am calm in a crisis", good for me!

I'm sure that the spirit blessed me with a peace beyond my "natural man" so I determined to be a strength to anyone I could during the experience. Again the horns blasted so the few travelers and I headed back wondering why they would give an "all clear" if things were not clear. Over the loud speaker, before I could reach the shelter, "all clear" was declared so I returned to the seating. One more panicked employee ran and yelled for us to take cover but the announcements contradicted him and he soon stopped to listen.

The threat of a tornado seems to loosen the tongues of fellow passengers and now instead of sitting quietly in our own little worlds we began talking to each other. The woman next to me worried that our flight would be late, and hoped she would arrive at her dying mother's bedside before she passed away that evening as the doctor predicted. That pretty much put my desire to get to bed in perspective. I tried to alternately comfort and distract her and we formed a bond that strangers do in such circumstances without exchanging names.

Our plane was diverted to another airport, delayed then finally arriving. Eventually we landed in Portland safely after a 4+ hour delay just after 3am. Note to self: Take only direct flights to/from Dallas.

The news confirmed there were tornadoes in the Denver area. So, I have cheated death once again! Oh, the things we will endure for a good blog topic...

It's time for "The Talk" on Modesty

If there is something I am famous for it will probably be my talks on modesty to the young women about...ooh...20 years ago? . They were memorable to say the least. To this day when I see one of these young women (now all grown up) "The Talk" on modesty is what they remember. I did leave an impression - or scar - on them in this regard. The highlights they tell me were the barbie doll demo (Barbie and Ken dancing too close) and me bending over to expose (only partially of course) what should remain covered.
Now, I have felt impressed to teach the lesson again to a new crop of girls. The fact is, I'm teaching the daughters of the Young Women I taught before. Yikes! (see previous blog on aging crisis - have I lost my edge or just gone over it?)
The problem is I'm not sure I have the wild and crazy in me anymore. I'm going to need a pep-talk and serious prop clothing. I'm thinking of looking for a neon body suit to wear under my version of what they're wearing, but I doubt it will have the same effect...a work in progress. My main targets are leggings under short dresses, shirt gaps exposing boonda and the ever popular "Is this low enough to get their attention or do I need to drop something?"
Possibly I could sell tickets to this reprisal for a camp fundraiser!

Update: My lesson coincidentally coincided with the announcement that there would be a change in ward boundaries and I knew that I would be in another ward since we lived 50' from the ward line.

I ended up solving my "wild and crazy" dilemma by accepting the help of Alyssa (Barrus) Curran. She was one of my mutual girls back in the day, she is Michael's age. She is now the Young Women's President! She will do great.

I did do the "Barbie" thing, and I can confidently predict there will be no bear hugging committed by any of my girls.

My new calling in my new ward is in Relief Society...which means I won't be needing that cot, memory foam sleeping pad, high tech lantern, sleeping bag or tent...talk about cheating death once again (see tornado blog)!

54 - The New Thirty

Turning 30 was pretty traumatic. That's why I say I'm 29...in fact I've said it so often I've started to believe it! Or maybe I AM getting old and I can't remember my real age. Who would have thought it would come to this?

• 18 - Married
• 19 - 1st child
• 24 - Last child
• 30 - Children all in school
• 40 - 1st Child married
• 42 - Last child leaves for college
• 43 - 1st grandchild
• 45 - Last child married
• 45 - Leave for mission
• 48 - Return from mission
• 53 - All children have children - 12 grandchildren ages 7mo. to 10 years

Being a mother was consuming physically and emotionally. It was a time of great focus and purpose that sometimes seems lacking in my life now. The rewards of motherhood far outweigh the sacrifice, especially now that it is in the past to a large degree. The distance from those day to day pressures have given increased understanding to what eternal joy really means.

As parents, the goal of raising responsible, righteous, intelligent and independent children is an intense time of life. Dan and I were very blessed to have children with strong spirits talented in those (and many other) areas. There is a great sense of joy that for our feeble efforts the Lord rewarded us with remarkable children. If I can boast of any "accomplishment" in life it is them. They have been my education and my career. They now nurture their own children who are so precious and dear to me that words cannot express my love for them.

So now, at 54, where does that leave me? Sometimes I feel I need more purpose, more feeling of accomplishment doing something important. I hope that my "education" and "work experience" can have value. Then I realize, it does.

• 54 - Wife. Mother. Grandmother. Daughter of God.

I still have my whole life ahead of me.

Snow Dance 2009 Meets With 100% Success

Oh Yeah! We did it kids! The snow dance worked. From Dallas to St. George, Boise and Vancouver who can doubt the power of the snow dance?