It's The Thought That Counts

For Mother’s Day the Relief Society held a special program for all of the Sisters. It was arranged that the Priests would teach the Primary Classes that Sunday. Well, it's the thought that counts...
The priests came in the Primary Room with the confidence that comes with 5 minutes of basic survival training. They were not given a parachute as they were pushed out of the plane into the Primary war zone. High casualties were expected.
The battlefield was full of confusion. "Third door on the left" sounded the battle cry. They froze in their places as they were either rushed with adrenalin or falling into a stupor of thought. It was hard to tell. They consulted with each other trying to figure out who was teaching which class, who could count three doors down and which side was left. Seeing their bewilderment I lead them to the battlefront of the classroom.
The children were surprised by the change of command. "What are 'they' doing here?" they whined. After explaining about Mother's Day, the kids were still confused, "You are a teacher not a mother". The children still did not understand what was going on. I continued to explain while seating them boy/girl.
Well, there were not enough girls to do boy/girl exactly and this was upsetting to one of the girls. As she begins to cry we arrange it the best we can by seating boy/girl/boy/boy/girl/boy/boy/girl/boy. It was the best pattern we could come up with.
The kids were still unsure of the situation and very wiggly. I explained again that the young men would be teaching and they needed to be reverent. I had no delusions that this pep talk would be effective. It did, however, give the illusion of calm to the young men. Reality would arrive soon enough.
It would be impossible for these relunctant warriers to remember the children's names. I had an idea to help them out, small hankies to replace the missing parachutes. I counted off the children and told them that their number was their name for that day. The young men looked uncertain. I was determined to instill confidence to my faltering troops. I smiled reassuringly and said: “Okay, I’ll turn it over to you and you’re all set.”
“Where are you going? Aren’t you staying with us?” they begged.
Time to become a man!
I patted them on the shoulder and I did not look back.

Your Theory Welcome

I could have died!!! (Dramatic exaggeration added for dramatic effect.)
Tuesday as I opened the garage door and stepped toward my car door (Izzy, the red one:) I almost met my demise (or a serious head wound) as wood, metal, playpen parts and bungee cords fell from the ceiling only inches (so many inches it could be measured in feet, maybe yards) from my head.
Luckily, it missed Izzy and I so you do not need to send cards, we're okay.
There in a heap lay the remains of the decorator dog kennel. The playpen piece was the make shift lid we secured with bungee cords to keep Zoe from jumping out. When all was said and done we decided it was not that "decorator" with the playpen floor strapped to the top so we put it in the garage in one of those overhead storage shelves that can hold 10,000 pounds...
Having watched one too many CSI type shows, my imagination progressed...
When someone would come upon this awful scene they would immediately suspect foul play. Crime scene detectives, Homicide and NCIS would be called to the tragic seen of a young woman (later they are amazed at her older age) who was tragically taken before her time by a dog crate, play pen and bungee cords...
They suspect a bungee cord slipped from off the shelf, suspiciously hooked onto the rising garage door ejecting the lethal debris which fell onto the unsuspecting (do they ever suspect?) victim.
But how! Why? Who?
Then, they would all develop theories...

1) Of course the spouse is always suspect #1. But what was his motive? Perhaps he wanted more wives but she wouldn't let him...

2) Next suspect...who had something to gain from her death? The Dan Jensen Groupies! Yes, its true. My husband has groupies - (who could help but to love the guy!).

3)Andrea! Yes...always claiming to be the favorite child she has used the old "criss-cross" plot. She gets rid of me, CSI suspects dad, then she takes over the business! Very devious...this will definitely be fodder for another of your novels no doubt...

Your theories are now welcome.