I could have died!!! (Dramatic exaggeration added for dramatic effect.)
Tuesday as I opened the garage door and stepped toward my car door (Izzy, the red one:) I almost met my demise (or a serious head wound) as wood, metal, playpen parts and bungee cords fell from the ceiling only inches (so many inches it could be measured in feet, maybe yards) from my head.
Luckily, it missed Izzy and I so you do not need to send cards, we're okay.
There in a heap lay the remains of the decorator dog kennel. The playpen piece was the make shift lid we secured with bungee cords to keep Zoe from jumping out. When all was said and done we decided it was not that "decorator" with the playpen floor strapped to the top so we put it in the garage in one of those overhead storage shelves that can hold 10,000 pounds...
Having watched one too many CSI type shows, my imagination progressed...
When someone would come upon this awful scene they would immediately suspect foul play. Crime scene detectives, Homicide and NCIS would be called to the tragic seen of a young woman (later they are amazed at her older age) who was tragically taken before her time by a dog crate, play pen and bungee cords...
They suspect a bungee cord slipped from off the shelf, suspiciously hooked onto the rising garage door ejecting the lethal debris which fell onto the unsuspecting (do they ever suspect?) victim.
But how! Why? Who?
Then, they would all develop theories...
1) Of course the spouse is always suspect #1. But what was his motive? Perhaps he wanted more wives but she wouldn't let him...
2) Next suspect...who had something to gain from her death? The Dan Jensen Groupies! Yes, its true. My husband has groupies - (who could help but to love the guy!).
3)Andrea! Yes...always claiming to be the favorite child she has used the old "criss-cross" plot. She gets rid of me, CSI suspects dad, then she takes over the business! Very devious...this will definitely be fodder for another of your novels no doubt...
Your theories are now welcome.
4 comments:
Wow mom. I am so glad your not dead.
BUT... If you were, I would have guessed it was Col. Mustard, in the Garage with a BUN-Gee Cord... However upon investigating the scene further we find out that the Dog was there when Dad secured the Kennel in the first place...
Knowing that we had all fallen for the oldest trick in the book (Just say it will hold 10,000 lbs and people buy it) Zowie distracted Dad by Peeing on the floor at the Precise moment that he would have thought the payload was secure. Alas! T'was not quite.
Then, Zowie seeing Dad was out of town and you were heading to the garage she knew this was her moment. To the garage she ran and ran and then...straight into the wall (I just thought she was retarded, but no... all this time it was training) jarring the kennel loose and causing eminent death.
But Why? WHY would she want to do such a thing? The answer is simple Jealousy, ever since Lexi entered the picture Zowie has taken a back seat (Literally) and she just couldn't bear it any longer... She was dying to drive the car herself.
But I looked into my crystal ball and she backed straight out of the driveway and right up into the neighbors garage, after which she was send to the Pound for the Ultimate Punishment...
Youth In Asia (Dun, Dun , Dun!!!)
No not EUTHANASIA, Youth In Asia, A scared straight program where little dogs and little kids are sent to straighten up their unruly ways. Constantly living in fear of being tomorrow's mystery kabob.
I was about to say something about your comment, Mom, but then I read Brad's and truly, how could anyone beat that!
Let it suffice to say that I never really realized (maybe because I didn't really think about it) that you and I have the same sense of humor.
I love you!
:)
The dog did it. Case closed. =)
I must say that I am quite appalled to be named a suspect. If I did away with you, who would watch my kids when I... get my hair done, get my nails done, need to run to the mall, have a call, want to go on a date but don't want to pay a babysitter, and many other things?
You are worth much more to me alive than you are dead. Rest easy... I won't be offing you anytime soon. :)
I love you!
:)
Post a Comment