Saturday, July 26, 2008

Why I Make My Bed

There are two important times for your house to be clean:
  1. Christmas
  2. Vacation

The reason for the first is obvious. "Santa doesn't come to a messy house."

Seat belts for car accidents. Life jackets for boat accidents. Remember: "Seat backs in their full and upright position. In case of a water landing your seat cushion may become a floatation device." Low calorie, low fat and low sodium. Yes, potential death is a real motivator.... but not as motivating as potential public embarrassment.

If you are in a fatal accident while on vacation the Relief Society will "come in". This "coming in" will include judgement on what kind of a person you were, based on how clean your house is at the moment of tragic and sudden death.

Yes, the Relief Society will see if you have left any dishes in the sink or failed to make your bed. The "tsk-tsk" of a Relief Society President who had to "come in" only to find your laundry was piled up would never let you rest in peace.

This embarrassment would live in infamy. It would be unfortunate to be remembered as "that woman" who left her home a mess when she left on vacation.

Let this be a warning; "Yea, a reminder for this generation". Wear clean underwear and mop the floor on the way out.

If I am in an accident while on vacation would someone please "come in" and clean my office before the Relief Society does!

4 comments:

Andi Sherwood said...

I've got your back, Mom. I'll be there before anyone else, making sure "All is well." :) Obviously, I expect the same courtesy in return.

:)

The Original TomKat said...

Great wisdom...thank you for sharing.

Also, thank you for making me feel much better about our eating habits! You're the best!

Esther Ogden said...

Oh Mom, I just love you! And...ditto to Dea's comment! =)

Angel Brockbank said...

Wow, I cant believe I'm your daughter. We are so different. See, in my mind, if I knew I was going to die, I'd rather be out enjoying the life I had rather than cleaning. Forget the cleaning, that's no fun. I would hope that as my family cleaned up after me they could reminisce on my life and think of the good times, "Remember when Angel wore this pink eyeshadow, it looked so good on her that day!", or "Remember these socks she wore two weeks ago, they looked so good with that new sweater that is at the bottom of her closet." You see, I'm just trying to force my relatives (and friends) to face the situation head on, stare it in the eyes, and move on. Because once the house is clean, it'll be like I was never there. And that's no fun, right? (50% true, 50% sarcastic) :)