Snow Dance Works Again!

Snowku
Distracted snowflakes.
Hesitate. Accumulate.
Drift gently to ground.

Wow! Can you believe almost 10 inches already? We're very excited here with the promise of defeating the cries of global warming this week with an Arctic Chill forecast and more snow on the way.

SNOW. SNOW. SNOW!

The Jensen Snow Dance Tradition

I'm not sure when the snow dance tradition started, but it has grown and evolved over the years. It is key to do the snow dance when the weather is looking and "feeling" like snow. Forecasts for snow are a plus. This increases the level of faith for the Snow Dance, thus increasing its likelihood.
The snow dance is performed similar to an Indian Rain Dance. Simply hop and dance in a circle while moving your arms like snowflakes.
We did not have a "snow chant" until this year. I wanted to ramp it up...

Snow, snow, we want snow.
Snow, snow, let's go!
Snow, snow, please come.
Snow, snow, its lots of fun.
Snow! Snow! Snow! SNOW!

Some of the Jensen's best snow memories:

In Mt. Vista next to the Drapers...

• We had a very steep driveway. It was the best hill ever for sledding with pine bushes and garage doors at the bottom. Our kids hit the Drapers garage and they hit ours.
• It looked like so much fun! Once, I went down the hill and hit the drain bump. I caught some air and broke my tail bone! I was in pain for weeks. Wisely, that was the last time I went sledding.
• The kids and I would watch out the girls window as Dad would try to make it up the driveway so he could go to work. We always hoped he wouldn't make it. He would start in the garage, rev up the engine then take off. Half way up the hill he would lose traction and the car would start rolling back down the driveway.
• One year there was an "Arctic Chill". We had a lot of snow plus freezing temperatures, it was really too cold to play in. We had the Foltz children over since school was canceled and the kids had lots of fun. It lasted almost a week.
• The same Arctic Chill froze our fountain, waterfalls and ponds. Because Dad was out of town I went to a tack store to get a "cattle trough heater" in a vain attempt to keep it thawed. The kids went out every hour or so to try to break up the ice but it was a lost cause. I'm sure they all remember that!

Sunriver...

• The snow was part of the attraction of Sunriver. There were sledding hills and Mt. Bachelor to ski. The kids were still beginners when I took them skiing. It was great! There was virtually no one else skiing. That's when we got hit with a blizzard. Angel's ski came off, others skis were not properly bound and with other complications we had to be rescued off the hill.
• The hot tub was especially fun when there was snow. The kids would wear their boots out to the hot tub.

The teen years...

• The kids were not allowed to drive in the snow. I think Dad took them to a parking lot to get a feel for it, but we didn't let them drive on the roads.
• One year Andi prayed for snow. Snow fell more often than any other year. Each time it snowed a major dance at school or church had to be canceled. New Years, Preference, Valentines...a great teaching moment on what to pray for!

The mission...see above picture...

The first winter of the mission I could feel snow in the air. We didn't watch news or forecasts, this was strictly a gut feeling. I invited the office Elders to do the Snow Dance with me. Within a day or two it snowed! They were duly impressed! It was only a few inches but hey, snow is snow. That was the only snow of the mission and it is very rare for Italy

So, keep up the tradition everyone. Do the Snow Dance!

The Conundrum of Halloween Candy

Do you buy the candy you like so you can eat the leftovers...or buy what you don't like so you won't eat the leftovers? What a conundrum!

What Do You Clean?

When you are going to have guests to your home, what do you clean?
Another way of saying it, when you go to someone's house what do you notice is clean? Not clean?
Our stake has been doing preparedness classes. I volunteered to host the last class in the series this Thursday. I have been in the process of re-organizing bathroom cabinets, the playroom closet, food pantries and storage room. The last two in case someone asks to see my storage systems and the others just because...I don't know why but it seemed important at the time.
The playroom is/was a total waste of time because there are about 6 kids coming and they will play in the playroom (see irony of the playroom blog). The first mothers that take their kids in there will be duly impressed I guess.
The other wrinkle, which I know will get me no sympathy, is that the person who helps with the cleaning comes on Friday, the day after.
Come clean! Where do you look, and where do you clean?

Changing Clothes

Sometimes Change Is Not Good!

This memory is from my childhood...
I remember mother and daddy getting mad at me for changing my clothes “10 times a day”. "They’re my clothes, why can’t I change them whenever I want?"
Of course I didn’t understand the mess and the laundry resulting from that practice…
Angel was the same way, changing her clothes constantly. I told her my story, but said if she picked up her clothes after she changed them, it was okay.
Then… there was laundry.
To her, picking up her clothes meant putting them in the laundry basket. I told her if she did her own laundry she could change as much as she wanted. That pretty much took care of her changing clothes all the time, or at least how it affected me.
I realized that my mother couldn’t just throw in a load of clothes like I could, she borrowed my grandma’s wringer washer at that time and hung the clothes outside on a line. It was a lot of work for my mother with our large family.
Now, Angel has two little girls who change clothes constantly! Angel scolds them about it but I don’t think you can fight genetics!

The Fascination of Impending Doom

(dialogue of me to myself)

Today's self-psycho-analysis session will focus on your fascination with impending doom. The format for today's self-psycho-analysis will be the Who/What/Where/When/Why/How format. Please keep your answers short because you are paying by the hour.

Who are the likely recipients of impending doom?
In my mind, (since that is where self-psycho-analysis takes place and does not necessarily follow a rational thought process) only the wicked or foolish will suffer.

What are your impending doom fascinations about.
1. Armageddon. That is my number one. I say get this whole thing over and done with so we don't have to worry about wars and wickedness and R-rated movies anymore.
2. Bombs. Destroying only the wicked, of course. Mainly that Abbameanajob guy. I say nuke him before he nukes us or the Israelis.
3. Widespread viral outbreak. That season of "24" was not to be missed or taken lightly. If we are all confined to home I hope we will still have internet and cable connections. I have food in my freezer and enough antibiotics to protect a small army.
4. Weather. Hurricanes get the most news coverage. Personally, I look forward to snow.

Where do you look for impending doom information?
For most of my news I go to Fox News. They have great financial and political doom scenarios. Also Glen Beck. He takes impending doom and puts it on a platter. It would just be rude to not have at least a taste of it floating around my head.
TV series have great impending doom scenarios I might never think of on my own. Jericho, for instance, took a nuclear attack to a whole new level.

When do you expect this impending doom to arrive?
Hurricanes are the best because you get a real timeline updated in real time. I hope no one gets hurt except the "unwise" who go surfboarding. That is just natural selection at work. I wish no homes would be destroyed but when you build your house on the sand below sea level in a hurricane zone...well we know how that song ends.

Why do you think you have this impending doom fascination?
There is a line between being prepared and being paranoid. I need reading glasses so that line can become fuzzy at times.
Being prepared is good a thing. When I think of a disaster, but know that I am prepared for it, I feel secure.

How does your thought process work?
Now, if I knew that, I wouldn't think it! Basically, I think planning for the worst and hoping for the best is ideal, but not a characteristically familiar thought process. I see the possibility for impending doom and figure out a way to make it bearable if it happens to me.

Have you ever experienced impending doom first hand?
I've blocked out that memory.

Top Ten Reasons to Buy a Segway

In San Diego we went to the Wild Animal Park and went on a Segway tour.
In this picture we are not moving but standing still on Segways, with a mean looking Bison in the background.

To ride, you simply put weight on your toes or heels to move forward and back. By turning the handle you can turn 360 degrees. Segways are balanced with a gyroscope and run completely silent. So-o-o-o...I need to think of some ways to convince Dan we should buy Segways.

Top Ten Reasons to buy a Segway

10) Emergency Preparedness. A great evacuation vehicle, it can travel 8-10 mph for about 20 miles on a single charge.

9) Save the Planet. It uses no gas, emits no fumes.

8) Cost effective. If gas were $10 a gallon and we could save...maybe 2 gallons of gas a month...a Segway could pay for itself in only 20 years!

7) Exercise. More distance = more exercise. Think how many miles we can "run" without ever breaking a sweat.

6) Coolness Factor. "My Grandpa has a boat." "Yeah? Well my grandpa has a Segway."

5) Visits from relatives. Be honest, wouldn't you be creatively thinking of a reason to visit? Perhaps, a spontaneous desire to bring us homemade chocolate chip cookies?

4) Date night. Forget $75 for dinner and a movie. We can see the world (within 20 miles) and probably be invited to a neighbors barbeque.

3) Christmas Cards. "Dear friends and family, We are well, the kids are swell. We have Segways. Happy Holidays"

2) Easy access. Access to fast food has never been easier. A front storage compartment will hold a Big Mac, fries and an extra large Sprite. Loan payments are conveniently made with easy access to drive thru banking.

1) And the number one reason why we should buy a Segway? You tell me. Believe me, Dan is a hardsell on this one so make it good!

Why I Make My Bed

There are two important times for your house to be clean:

1. Christmas
2. Vacation

The reason for the first is obvious. "Santa doesn't come to a messy house."

Seat belts for car accidents. Life jackets for boat accidents. Remember: "Seat backs in their full and upright position. In case of a water landing your seat cushion may become a floatation device." Low calorie, low fat and low sodium. Yes, potential death is a real motivator.... but not as motivating as potential public embarrassment.

If you are in a fatal accident while on vacation the Relief Society will "come in". This "coming in" will include judgement on what kind of a person you were, based on how clean your house is at the moment of tragic and sudden death.

Yes, the Relief Society will see if you have left any dishes in the sink or failed to make your bed. The "tsk-tsk" of a Relief Society President who had to "come in" only to find your laundry was piled up would never let you rest in peace.

This embarrassment would live in infamy. It would be unfortunate to be remembered as "that woman" who left her home a mess when she left on vacation.

Let this be a warning; "Yea, a reminder for this generation". Wear clean underwear and mop the floor on the way out.

If I am in an accident while on vacation would someone please "come in" and clean my office before the Relief Society does!

Making Lemonaid Outside the Lemonaid Stand

I am a good lemonade maker!
Give me a lemon, or most any "fruit" and I can create some sort of juice. I can take a problem and then find a solution, if not immediately then at least eventually I can find a way to improve it. I do not take full credit of course because Dan and I come up with a lot of this together...here are some examples.

Problem: Traffic at the airport is insane. There are "Airport Nazi's" blowing whistles for you to move on and then you have to take the 1 mile loop to come back. Cars have been lined up a quarter mile at times. The cell phone lot is in a dark, deserted place that I try to avoid.
Solution: We have a two level deck with departures upstairs and baggage claim for arrivals downstairs. While the whistles, honks and sighs of frustration emanate from down below....I am relaxing smugly at the curb upstairs. There are maybe 10 other enlightened souls up with me waiting for their spouses to arrive. Few if any passengers are departing at these peak arrival times so I can park and relax until Dan comes. If he has checked luggage he simply rides the elevator to the upper level.

Problem: How to get American goods while living in Italy on our mission.
Solution: Parents come with empty suitcases to pick up their missionaries. Dan would call one or two as needed to ask them to bring some things with them. We ordered the items on the Internet and had them sent to the parents home. Sometimes we asked parents to buy things if we couldn't order it online and then we reimbursed them upon their arrival. This is a partial list of the items brought to us...6x8' area rugs (2), nylons, items won on eBay, lap top (twice:), favorite candy, "underwear", 1000's of Cd's (only got nailed with tariff's once), decongestants (TONS! we sold them at cost to the missionaries) and onion soup mix. None of the other MP's had thought of this.

These are clear examples of making lemonade outside the lemonade stand, but it's really the small, everyday solutions that I come up with that sometimes amaze even me! I've even figured out something to list as a talent on the Relief Society surveys: making lemonade!

Why Sheep Get Lost

The purpose of the Primary lesson was to teach how Jesus is our shepherd. We are his sheep and should follow Him. After explaining what a shepherd does I thought I would teach the 5-6 year-olds how to be good sheep and follow the shepherd with an object journey.
"We will be quiet sheep," I optimistically instructed my 7 sheep. "I will be the shepherd." I lined them up in twos. One boy was asked to be the shepherd helper in the back to make sure all the sheep came.
I opened the door. Before I could step into the hall most of the sheep were halfway down to the chapel. The sheep who were paying attention came back and we waited for the others to notice they were astray. Our first stop was the library and we almost made it there together as a flock.
We continued outside because it was such a beautiful day and sheep love the sun. The flock scattered from the path and did not hear the voice of their shepherd. It was a lot like herding cats.
We came back into the building because clearly this was not going well. We stopped in the area between the inner and outer doors to continue the object lesson. There were only 7 children (I've had as many as 14) and I could hardly contain them within an enclosed 10x10 spot. "This is our sheepfold where we would stay for the night." The shepherd's helper was placed at one door and I was at the other. I told them that he was like the Bishop who helps Jesus. Each of them were given a wall - a commandment that would help them stay safe. "The shepherd will help you be safe if you stay together and listen to the shepherd."
I was frustrated. This was turning out to be a great lesson but no one was listening! The sheep were ignoring the shepherd and doing whatever they pleased.
Suddenly it all became very clear...this is the predicament the Savior is in. He can certainly not force the sheep to stay in the fold. He loves his sheep and does not want any of them to be lost...but they are just grazing and looking for green pastures to roam on their own.
This is why sheep get lost.
If we stray from the safety of the sheepfold we are prey for the wolves of the world. If we do not learn the voice of our Shepherd we will be distracted and not know which way to go. We need to PAY ATTENTION or the lessons will be over and we will end up coloring a picture instead of painting an eternal future.

Procrastination

I need to clean my office. Coming from the person who is a "closet organizer" this is hard to admit. My closets are clean and organized but my office is not. I thought it would be fun to list some of the creative activities I have used as "procrastination techniques". Perhaps some would be useful for you....

• Laundry. This is great because it needs to be done and it can be done and then it is done until a day or two later when you can do it again.
• Ironing. It is a sad day when I would rather iron than clean my office.
• Prepare a Primary Lesson. A noble cause, yes? This must include a very creative handout or activity that will be interesting to the children and help the parents know what we are learning about. This is a weekly event so it can be used to procrastinate at least once a week.
• Compile 72 hour kits. This could be something I really appreciate later. The downside is that all of the emergency info available from different sources is now a major part of the problem of the messy office.
• Laminate paper to hold business cards and addresses on the inside of kitchen cabinets. Yes, I'm becoming a bit desperate now. One is for neighbors, and one is for services like painting, house or carpet cleaning, lawn care, etc. This has greatly enhanced my enjoyment of opening the two cabinets that before held sticky notes.
• Email. How convenient that I must delete multiple emails from foreigners who have great investments or vitamins that would change my life!
• Watch a T.V. show. Once it is evening and I have put in a hard day of procrastinating who could really blame me for wanting to relax a bit.
• Mah-jong. This solitaire puzzle is mind numbing.
• Re-organize the file cabinet. Make labels for the dividers and make sure the subjects are color coded. See "closet organizer" blog, but think paper. There is much more to do, so I may soon be procrastinating this as well.
• Replace, update and hang pictures for the grandkids hall of fame. This is in my office so I do consider it part of the cleaning process.
• Blog. I can write a new blog...check my blog for comments... look at my kids blogs for new postings and then blog my comments for them. Blog, blog, blog.

It's The Thought That Counts

For Mother’s Day the Relief Society held a special program for all of the Sisters. It was arranged that the Priests would teach the Primary Classes that Sunday. Well, it's the thought that counts...
The priests came in the Primary Room with the confidence that comes with 5 minutes of basic survival training. They were not given a parachute as they were pushed out of the plane into the Primary war zone. High casualties were expected.
The battlefield was full of confusion. "Third door on the left" sounded the battle cry. They froze in their places as they were either rushed with adrenalin or falling into a stupor of thought. It was hard to tell. They consulted with each other trying to figure out who was teaching which class, who could count three doors down and which side was left. Seeing their bewilderment I lead them to the battlefront of the classroom.
The children were surprised by the change of command. "What are 'they' doing here?" they whined. After explaining about Mother's Day, the kids were still confused, "You are a teacher not a mother". The children still did not understand what was going on. I continued to explain while seating them boy/girl.
Well, there were not enough girls to do boy/girl exactly and this was upsetting to one of the girls. As she begins to cry we arrange it the best we can by seating boy/girl/boy/boy/girl/boy/boy/girl/boy. It was the best pattern we could come up with.
The kids were still unsure of the situation and very wiggly. I explained again that the young men would be teaching and they needed to be reverent. I had no delusions that this pep talk would be effective. It did, however, give the illusion of calm to the young men. Reality would arrive soon enough.
It would be impossible for these relunctant warriers to remember the children's names. I had an idea to help them out, small hankies to replace the missing parachutes. I counted off the children and told them that their number was their name for that day. The young men looked uncertain. I was determined to instill confidence to my faltering troops. I smiled reassuringly and said: “Okay, I’ll turn it over to you and you’re all set.”
“Where are you going? Aren’t you staying with us?” they begged.
Time to become a man!
I patted them on the shoulder and I did not look back.

Your Theory Welcome

I could have died!!! (Dramatic exaggeration added for dramatic effect.)
Tuesday as I opened the garage door and stepped toward my car door (Izzy, the red one:) I almost met my demise (or a serious head wound) as wood, metal, playpen parts and bungee cords fell from the ceiling only inches (so many inches it could be measured in feet, maybe yards) from my head.
Luckily, it missed Izzy and I so you do not need to send cards, we're okay.
There in a heap lay the remains of the decorator dog kennel. The playpen piece was the make shift lid we secured with bungee cords to keep Zoe from jumping out. When all was said and done we decided it was not that "decorator" with the playpen floor strapped to the top so we put it in the garage in one of those overhead storage shelves that can hold 10,000 pounds...
Having watched one too many CSI type shows, my imagination progressed...
When someone would come upon this awful scene they would immediately suspect foul play. Crime scene detectives, Homicide and NCIS would be called to the tragic seen of a young woman (later they are amazed at her older age) who was tragically taken before her time by a dog crate, play pen and bungee cords...
They suspect a bungee cord slipped from off the shelf, suspiciously hooked onto the rising garage door ejecting the lethal debris which fell onto the unsuspecting (do they ever suspect?) victim.
But how! Why? Who?
Then, they would all develop theories...

1) Of course the spouse is always suspect #1. But what was his motive? Perhaps he wanted more wives but she wouldn't let him...

2) Next suspect...who had something to gain from her death? The Dan Jensen Groupies! Yes, its true. My husband has groupies - (who could help but to love the guy!).

3)Andrea! Yes...always claiming to be the favorite child she has used the old "criss-cross" plot. She gets rid of me, CSI suspects dad, then she takes over the business! Very devious...this will definitely be fodder for another of your novels no doubt...

Your theories are now welcome.

No Dignified Options Available

Today’s adventure....
It was a rainy day with a cold, blustery wind so uncharacteristic for April. As the garage door opened Zoe ran out to meet me. She had been alone for 2 hours so I took her to the pen before going inside. I saw that the wind had kicked up a corner of the artificial grass so I stepped over to fix it. BANG went the side door as the wind plotted against me. Somehow the force locked the door and I was stuck in the dog kennel!
I looked for a hide-a-key (don't tell but now there is one:) that was not there and then was faced with
1)screaming for help (the garage door was still open)
2)climbing over the fence
Option 1 would of course be undignified and would also have been difficult with the roar of the wind and lawnmowers filling the usually peaceful neighborhood with noise akin to a freight train. So, I went with option 2. I’m not sure it was any more dignified…but I was able to do it thanks to my superior athletic skills!
The adventure continues...
Trying to act cool, wow!I like I had just climbed over the fence, I found the wind had blown over the plants on the front porch. I had difficulty sweeping up the dirt, especially with Zoe dancing and jumping around the broom.
I decided to do it right and got out the hose to spray down the entry way. "I can do this without getting wet" I thought optimistically while I wondered what the wind chill factor would be.
Zoe thought the water hose was even better than the broom! For a dog who whines when she has to go three steps into the rain to pee it was ironic seeing her get in the cold water like it was a hot summers day. We were now both wet and dirty. She ran in the house, tracking dirt all over the entry tile before I could grab her for a bath.
When I gave her a bath, in warm water I might add, I became soaked as she squirmed and struggled because(oh the irony!) she hates baths. I dried and combed her and then changed my clothes.
Perhaps dignity is over-rated.

Confessions of a Closet Organizer

These confessions are by a professional organizer. Do not attempt these stunts at home alone. Wait until I come to visit and I will "help" you:)

1. All hangers must match. No wire hangers.
2. Sort clothes by type and purpose (pants together, jeans together within pants section, etc.)
3. Organize by color within each group, going light to dark
4. Organize shoes in similar fashion with shelves labeled for optimal neatness
5. Use and label bins to hold items on shelves
6. Utilize small clothes hampers for sorting laundry to be cleaned
7. Review each item (I do it spring and fall when I switch seasons) at least once a year to remove items your children would laugh at. If your children are too young to laugh at your clothes a sister is a better judge than a husband who says "it is fine".

#3 is really the key. I learned this system working at Nordstrom. I go from light to dark within colors and color groups. White, beige, yellow, orange, red, purple, green, blue, brown, black. Sometimes I mix it up with the purple, green and blue. It doesn't matter the order as much as order matters. I like to take it to the next level by, for example, going light to dark on dress pants, then dark to light on casual, then light to dark on the jeans so the color intensities kind of flow.

I love it! But, it doesn't keep me up at night so it's not technically obsessive.

Before corn was used for Ethanol

Christmas Feast 2004

It looks like the kids got one piece of cake to share?

Before corn was used for Ethanol and eggs cost $4.00 a dozen...this is what our $15 a month could buy.

• 15 for 1$ - 8oz. cans of tomato sauce (used for making spaghetti or goop)
• 1$ gallon milk (we drank 1-2 gallons a month)
• 1$ 18 eggs
• 2 1$ packages of spaghetti or macaroni
• 10 for 1$ Campbell's Tomato Soup (made with half milk/half water)
• 1$ pound of hamburger (1-2# a month)
• 4 for 1$ bread
• 49 cents a pound for whole fryers

Things we ate: Spaghetti, "goop" (macaroni with hamburger, tomato sauce, onions and frozen corn), biscuits, potatoes (mashed was his favorite), tomato soup with saltine crackers or toasted cheese sandwiches. Fried chicken.Tuna casseroles were famous for how far they could be stretched. Frozen corn or peas were the only veggies.

Oatmeal, corn flakes, cheerios and scrambled eggs were standard breakfast fare. I made pancakes a few times but Dan said he didn't like them that much.

Special treats: Cookable chocolate pudding, cake (box cheaper than scratch), scratch cookies.

It was for sure a "loaves and fishes" type of time and we're not sure how we survived on $15 either but we did for, I would guess, 9 months.

After those days I remember having the food budget raised to $100 with at least Brian, maybe Andi.

Later, after serving a tuna casserole for dinner, Dan said, and I quote: "How much would I need to raise your food budget to never have a casserole again?"

As the 4 kids became teens we had a food budget of 400$. We enjoyed plenty of chips, ice cream, varied cereals and other "luxury" items. Most of the time there was no need for a "food budget" for which I am thankful.

The price of food...

When Dan and I were first married our food budget was $15...a month! Granted, we worked at McDonald's and most days at least one of us were able to eat at least one meal there, but still! $15!
We now spend $30 a month on our dog, Zoe. However, I must say, for that price her food does look pretty appetizing.
4/14/08

Irony of a Playroom

The purpose of a playroom is to play, obviously. I adamently insist this is what I want. The playroom is for playing...we have a doll house, a train set, TV/DVD, Barbies, cars and trucks. In the near future I may consider a video game system of some kind. We chose the room off of the family room to be the playroom thinking the kids would play in there while being close to the (adult) family. Most of the time we (the kids and I) bring things out of the playroom because what is the fun of having grandkids if I don't play with them?
HOWEVER!
The room can go from OCD organized to an exploded toy factory in a matter of minutes. Mothers frantically insist on having the kids pick up and try to put it back together but secretly I redo it after they leave.
THE IRONY-
A play room is for play and a family room is for reading, talking and TV but when you have kids a family room is really for family to play because it is a family activity...if there is a a family room and/or playroom for play and there are toys to play with, why then would toys not being played with be the "ideal" that you see in magazines?
THE JOY-
Every time (okay, usually) I clean up the toys I think of how grateful I am for the chance to share this fun with my grandkids. I treasure every day I have to be a Nonna...even if the balls and the barbies are not in the right bins.
Nonna-4/14/08